Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
