Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
