Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize