the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Your penis caused this!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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