Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize