brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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