ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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