respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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