Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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