How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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