it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
