We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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