Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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