i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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