I can text with my tongue
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
