I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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