i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
