Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
