My room smells like vodka and shame
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
