like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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