Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
