I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
