I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just high enough for therapy.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize