I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
