Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
