May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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