I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
