i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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