We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
