its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
