Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
