Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
