I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
