I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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