Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
