I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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