I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
