Just fell off a train. Bad.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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