im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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