Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
