he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
