Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
