I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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