Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
