Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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