I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
