I got chris browned last night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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