well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
