It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
