420 ftw
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
