i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also, beer. Big fan.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
