Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
