is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
