i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
