i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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