There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
