barbara walters just said penis...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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