I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
