like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
