oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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