She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
