Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
