thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
with your own penis?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
