my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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